Silence is Golden: Lessons from a 2-Night Silent Retreat

Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. (Prov 17:28) 

Last weekend, I went on a 2-night silent retreat at Latrun. Yes, you’re reading it right. I went on a silent retreat where it was forbidden to speak for 2 long nights. Honestly, I signed up with great expectations that it is going to be amazing. When I arrived at the Community of Latrun and saw my wonderful room, I exclaimed to the Lord, “Oh God, You will be speaking to me clearly in this place!”  I admit, I was completely terrified. I remembered how Isaiah responded when the Lord showed up. He was horrified by his sinfulness.

The Lord made sure that I understood He was behind all these. He showed me that He is taking care of me, and He is providing for every need that I have, especially for that weekend. On the very first chapel meeting, I found myself coughing like mad, that I had to step out to cough, so as not to disrupt the silence. Hoping I wasn’t contagious, I went back. A co-attendee whom I never met before offered his bottle of water, and the Lord gave me a clear verse from the story of the Samaritan woman - those who drink from Me will never go thirsty again. I thought, what was that about?

The night went on and I met a lot of interesting people. I heard some of their stories and they were so fascinating. While talking to my facilitators over dinner, I told them that I’m an extrovert, and I love to talk. They encouraged me that there were talkers who came there in the past, and they survived 1.5 days of silence. They managed expectations - you will be silent, and you will not be able to get to know anyone. If possible and highly recommended, no cellphones, which I also wanted to do. I thought, how hard could it be? 1.5 days. My only concern was - it’s a pity. It looked like an amazing group with wonderful people, and I can’t get to know them?

So what happened during the moment of silence? I read lots of chapters in the Bible - 15 chapters in the Book of Genesis, 4 short books in the New Covenant, and more than a handful of random but complete chapters in other books like Proverbs, Psalms and New Covenant books. Frankly, I haven’t read this much of the Bible for a long time. I even wrote 16 whole pages on my journal. Around 14:30 Saturday, I was almost getting crazy with the silence. I wasn’t sure if I could survive it. I tried practically every method I could do - sing, read, write, walk, dance, jump, etc. I also left my phone on Airplane Mode in my bedroom. To check the time, either I’d go to the dining hall, or the bedroom. IT. WAS. HARD. It didn’t help that every time it gets hot, I would start to cough and get desperate for water. I usually get thirsty very quickly, but that weekend was impossible. I was drinking water almost as if I was breathing air.

What did I learn?

1. The presence of the Lord is not something I should take lightly. In fact, the presence of the Lord is dangerous. While I know I was earnestly seeking the Lord with all of my heart, and I found Him, His presence had consequences. He showed me that He is the Consuming Fire, nothing unholy is fitting before His presence. I saw my flesh, how horrible she was, and saw why I want her badly dead at all times. She was screaming in agony because of the fire. It was painful. What is the cost of being in the presence of the Lord for all eternity? Everything. Is He worth it? Yes. 
2. I came to a point that I started to enjoy the presence of the Lord again. While being with Him was painful, it was also pleasant and beautiful. I learned to look at people without words, to see what they need by hearing a cough or a sniffle. I saw that people were doing the same thing as well - anticipating each other’s needs without words. Serving one another in silence. Loving one another as brothers and sisters in gentleness and quietness. I saw how silence can communicate so many things. Yes, there are ways to talk - a smile, hand gestures, mouthing of words, and a gentle touch. Silence spoke a lot of gentleness that I’ve never known I could receive, nor I could give. All I knew is that in that short time I was with strangers, I felt loved and safe. I was home. 
3. I learned that the world has given me too much distractions - social media, internet articles, instant connectivity. I couldn’t anymore see the value of the most important things - silence, being still before the Lord, watching others with completely joy, serving one another. Oh what great pleasure it brought me while watching people reading the Bible, being on their knees before the cross, and anticipating each other’s needs! It was absolutely amazing! I wondered if our words have so much bearing to the Lord. Even if we don’t talk, He must still be joyful watching us. For 1.5 days, I shared with His joy watching people who do not talk. Now I understand why He said He first loved us while we were still sinners - who cannot talk to Him, or didn't know they can.

The retreat ended with sharing, and one of the facilitators, Brother Elia, concluded with the verses in the Samaritan woman: Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” While I experienced immense physical thirst, I was also thirsting for the Lord. The Lord gave me an advance notice of the thirst which I didn’t understand at the beginning. It was so amazing to hear it at the end to tie everything that I learned altogether. It's just proof that He is able to share a story about Himself that I could understand in the level where I am at.  And like the Samaritan woman, she responded by telling everyone that Jesus had known what she has done.

I heard about many things that the Lord can do. Before I have heard of them, now I see them.

My Latrun spot - most beautiful during the golden hours (early AM and nearly sunset).  Best shared with a friend.

Adopted into the His Household - Eivind Osnes

It’s rather late that I’m writing something related to Shavuot. I transcribed and inserted some of my thoughts, not many, from my favorite message related to this Feast. This was a sermon at Christ Church given by one of the wisest men that I’ve ever known - Eivind Osnes, whom I met in Jerusalem last year. It’s amazing how clearly he communicates the things the Lord shares with him. You can listen to the message from my Google Drive thru this link, time to listen is 28:02.

14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.  (Romans 8:14-17)

Those who are led by and guided by the Spirit of God - you are now sons and daughters of God. The Spirit cries out as a witness, that YOU BELONG. You are a son or a daughter of the Most High King!

What does it mean to be sons and daughters of the King? Let’s jump to Acts 10, the story of Cornelius, which a lot of us would know very well. At this point, the Spirit bears witness that the Gentiles are part of God’s Family, that they belong to His household. This is the first time that Gentiles have received the Spirit of adoption.

It is hard to be adopted. Sometimes, we have to deal with the fact that we come from a different background from the family that adopted us. However, to be adopted is to become a real and full son and daughter. We, Gentiles, we need to be reminded: what kind of household did we get into? What does it mean to be heirs? Sometimes, we have the attitude - let’s just hang around, let’s not get into trouble, and let’s wait for our inheritance. Sometimes, we don’t understand that we’re missing out. We have a struggle, as we are adopted into this different household of God. It’s probably because we don’t know what it means to be a family or to have a Father in the Biblical sense.

A Father in a Biblical sense means He is the source of the family. He provides and protects. He will give us an inheritance. Because He is the Father, He is worthy of honor and respect. He can give discipline and guidance to the family.

Inheritance. Is it always a material thing? What is the inheritance in the Biblical sense? While inheritance is also a material thing, it is also inheritance as a character. I love how Eivind explains it - that we inherit things and we inherit traits. In Filipino, we say, pamana for material inheritance, and nagmana for inheriting traits. What do we inherit from the Father?

1. His value - what the Father is worth, the children is worth.
2. His roles - as our Father is doing, so do His children. The children will represent the Father. They will show everyone who He is.
3. His mission - we go and join in His mission.

It’s so easy for us to miss this out. It’s not because we’re lazy, but it’s because we don’t realize our inheritance is so much more. Our inheritance is to show the world the character of God.

What are the characteristics of the family?  What are they like?

On the day of Pentecost/Shavuot, the Israelites were celebrating. One of the intents of the Feast is to thank God for His provision and blessings (Feast of the First Fruits). It developed into something more, as man does not live on bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. It became a reliving and celebration of the giving of the Torah. The people were gathered in the desert during the time of Moses, and God revealed to them how they can live with each other, and how they can live with God in shalom, in a way that reflected to the world who He was. So that Israel can be a light to the nations. So they could do what Abraham was promised by God when He said, “I will bless you so you can be a blessing to the nations.”

It goes further in the Prophetic books. In the book of Jeremiah, The LORD says, one day, I will make a new covenant. I will give you a new heart, and I will write the law upon your hearts and you will be able and be willing to do what is according to my will. In the book of Ezekiel, the LORD says, I will put my Spirit within you. That Spirit will make you able and willing to live according to my teachings, instructions and guidance so you may show the world who God is.

In the New Covenant, during Pentecost/Shavuot, we read about the outpouring of the Spirit upon Jerusalem. On that day, the LORD gathered in His church 3,000 people witnessing about who Yeshua is - how He came, how He is the New Covenant, a Sacrifice for their sins, how He defeated death and resurrected, and defeated evil for once and for all. This Spirit (Ruach רוח), which also means wind or breath, comes upon them and something completely new happens. It spread like wildfire on that day. What was that Ruach? When we hear the word Ruach, it should automatically remind us of Creation, when God breathed into Adam. He became alive. As God is coming upon Jerusalem, He breathed life into them and they became new.

That is the kind of family that we got adopted into - a family that must honor God and His Word.  A family that believes in His promises for them. A family that is given the Torah with laws that are difficult to follow, but are promised to receive a new heart and new spirit to be able to obey these laws. A family that is given a calling to be a light, a blessing and a reflection of the character of God on the earth. 

How should life and relationships be in God’s household?

• It is a life that is about our Father, not about ourselves. 
• In this household, it’s not a life that is comfortable for me, or good for me. It is good and comfortable for me in some ways, because He is the God of life. Additionally, it shouldn’t be shocking that His household is life-giving to us. After all, the Father is the Author of life, the Creator Himself. 
• It’s about the Father’s mission and purpose for this world - bringing life and light, creating this world anew. 
• Knowing that He is the Almighty, it will also give us the confidence that we have the provision/protection for whatever that comes our way, as long as we are led by His Spirit. 
• Our relationships are no longer about us, it’s about the Father. Relationship becomes characterized by yielding to the other, living a lifestyle of forgiveness. 
• In this household, we are to have a lifestyle of generosity, because He is generous, and He gives to everyone. To have a good eye, to have a good treasure in heaven. It's about giving to the poor, because God himself gives to the poor. 
• We are to have a lifestyle of seeking righteousness, justice, mercy - because that is who God is.
• Our material blessings and inheritance are for the fulfillment of God’s mission for his household.
• Our life in this household is reflecting His character.
• In this household, the things of the world are called obstacles - burden, entanglement, However, despite that, there is an abundance of life. 
• It’s a lifestyle of rest and trust. 
• We know that the Father is the Almighty King. We know that He sees beyond what we see. We know His Word is truth, even if it doesn’t make sense with our common sense. 
• He invites us in a lifestyle of availability and listening. However, there is a condition here: those who are led by the Spirit. If we want to live a life in this household, we need to listen and be available. This invitation is not so much about us. He’s the one who makes the calls here. It’s not about our qualifications. It’s how He wants to qualify us to use us. 
• Therefore, He calls us not to worry, not to be concerned about what the world around us is concerned about, not to be scared, not even of death. That’s not dangerous, Jesus says. Don’t be afraid of death and suffering, as in these, you glorify Me. You come even closer to My heart.

Let us press forward, and come closer into that life where we receive His Spirit, the breath of life into our lives, and we walk as sons and daughters in His household.

Photo taken from http://turkrazzi.com/