Prov 14:10 - Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.
I find it fascinating that we spend a lot of time in our thoughts -- thinking about how things should be, or plan what we need to do or say, or fantasize about how our future should be. Yet, most of our thoughts never come to pass. Why do we do this, and for what purpose?
I don't know about you, but I enjoy being in my thoughts. It's like my own universe, my own reality, where everything is in my control. Sometimes, I let the Lord in. Sometimes, it becomes prayer. But most of the time, it is a world where I am god. It's irrational, but it's my bad habit. Probably even an addiction.
There are times when I plan based on my thoughts, and some of them never materialize. I have developed a way to cope with it by telling myself this -- "My plans are based on my reality. And praise God, my reality is not someone else's reality, otherwise, that would really suck. Coz I'm such a foolish planner! If it materialized as I planned, that would be a bit shameful."
Why do we obsess about our reality and hope that it becomes real? Could it be that we want to be god, and control everything? Could it be that we want others to be involved in our reality? Truth is, our realities hardly intersect, unless we come to some form of agreement and communication that we have a shared reality.
Every time I have this thought it my head, I am reminded of the verse above: Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. No one can read our minds. No one can feel our feelings for us. We can try, but it will never be 100% accurate. Somehow, there is something inside of us that want and need to be understood. But it seems to be hard to find.
Today, I was reminded of one truth: there is Someone Who understands our bitterness and our joy. He is Someone that no matter where we turn, our reality will always be His reality. And it's because He is God is He knows all. This truth is always comforting to know, especially in moments that I wish I was heard or understood. But then again, maybe I was asking from the wrong people. I had the One Who does all along. Why did I have to search far?
