Earlier this year, I wrote my personal reflections about one of the teachings that moved me - from Peter Sage's 4 Levels of Consciousness. I was treading with caution, because I wanted to make sure that I don't get into something that is against the word of God. A couple of weeks after writing that blog entry, I discovered that Peter Sage was imprisoned for fraud. It taught me so much about praying for the people that I look up to, and to present before the Lord what I learn from others. After all, the Lord desires that we do not to conform in the ways of the world, and be transformed in the renewing of the mind.
Today, I am writing my personal reflections and highlights on Sarah Lanier's message (27 minutes long) at Narkis Baptist Church in Jerusalem. She's my most favorite speaker on cross-cultural communication. I read her life-changing book Foreign to Familiar, which was necessary for me to read, especially that I am currently based in Israel, a country not my own. Sarah's personal goal, her calling, is not easy - to help people get along with each other. She is a Leadership Personnel Strategist. Her specialty is in the field of mediation and leadership transition.
According to Sarah, the biggest challenge of the Body of Messiah is UNITY.
In the message, she gave an example of a wonderful woman of God who was kidnapped, worked in a war zone, having her people die in her arms, and been diseased and hungry. One day she burned out and went through counseling. She had the grace to go through all those difficult challenges, but when her team went into disunity and conflict, she had no grace. She realized that in disunity, God is not present. It is impossible to work into those circumstances without the Lord, because it's too big for the flesh. She realized she has nothing to give if the Holy Spirit is not with them.
Why don't we, the Believers, recognize that unity is the hardest task? The Bible says when 2 or 3 are gathered in His Name, there He is with them (Matt 18:20). The opposite is also true. Enmity between and among each other prevents true worship.
Oneness with Yeshua
I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for those whom You have given Me, for they are Yours. And all Mine are Yours, and Yours are Mine, and I am glorified in them. Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are. While I was with them in the world, I kept them in Your name. “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me. (John 17: 9-12a,20-23)John 17 is one of my most favorite chapters in the Bible. Here, Yeshua is calling the disciples to intimate oneness with Himself, just as He and the Father are One. He knew that the disciples will struggle with unity. If the Believers are united, these are the benefits: Messiah is glorified in them, the world may believe that God has sent Yeshua, the world will see that God and Yeshua are One, they will be made perfect, and they will know that they are loved, just as God has loved Yeshua. It appears that arguing is NOT the way of the Lord. He wants man to be submitted to Him and not to compete with one another.
This behavior is infamously known as Submission. In our day and age, it is considered as a weakness. Yeshua seems to suggest that the strategy for having people understand who He is, is our own behavior to each other. If the enemy can attack that, and keep us from getting along with each other, then the presentation of the Gospel is worthless. We often hear "I can't believe they're fighting, Christians shouldn't be fighting like that." It's precisely the reason why they are fighting because they are Christians. There's a spiritual dynamics to it.
Here, Sarah presented amazing tools and questions on how to facilitate submission to one another:
- What is the side of the person that the Lord focuses on? We know that the Lord doesn't focus on our weaknesses. He sees us in His image with all the potential that He has created in us.
- What is the other side of the story? After all, there is no story until there are 2 sides of the story.
- Ask a question to the other person, instead of making a statement. Making a statement puts one in a trap of quickly judging the person without defense. Yeshua speaks strongly against judging one another. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Matt 7:2)
- What if I got it wrong? It takes a lot of self-control to not judge, a lot of humility to assume that maybe you got it wrong and they got it right, no matter how wrong their actions seem to appear. But those who do have self-control and humility to stop the response and believe in the highest of the person is called a peacemaker. Blessed are the peacemakers.
- Why don't we get along? It's because we are made differently, and the Lord applauds the difference. While it is beautiful that we are different, it is also the cause of disagreements - values, gender, culture, power, doctrine. The differences can become idols. If what I believe about something is more important than the Lord to be glorified through our unity so that world will be drawn to Him, then I have a problem.
- What can we do: laying down differences, having self-control, staying silent and looking for the good, or staying away from the person, anything but don't walk in disunity. Don't dishonor the Lord.
Culture is often a source of disagreements. For the Individualist culture, people have the right to say their mind, especially the Americans, whose country is founded on personal rights. For the Group culture, everybody in the family is expected to lay down their rights for the sake of the group. They are not allowed to put themselves forward. When these two come together, there will be a lot of conflict. If we recall the prayer of Yeshua in John 17, Yeshua asks the Lord to please help the believers get along. Help them walk in unity.
When we allow ourselves to be angry, judge others and take offense, we lose the benefits of having unity in the Body, and we also lose our peace. We have the option to think or say something like "I know this person's character, there must be an explanation for this." It is our choice to be angry. Yeshua wants us to get along and love each other.
Sarah ends the message with this awesome advice: Don't get too close to each other if you're too different and you don't have time to work out your differences. Opposites attract and often marry one another. However, the requirement of marriage is a deep commitment to unity. It demands so much death to self and denial, without the luxury to do it our way. In the same way, that's what it takes for the body of Messiah to get together, and walk together. Death to self and a commitment to unity. The commitment to one another is not as strong. Hence, the commitment should be unto the Father. For His Sake, and for the Kingdom's sake, it is worth it to die. For Your sake, I will not make an issue about it. For Your sake, I will not be mad. If we make those decisions, something wonderful happens. It comes with a benefit that we are asking for. In the Lord, there is peace, harmony and love. Being in the Lord requires that unity, and it is our choice. If we choose not to demand our way, then the Holy Spirit knows He is welcome, and will be in our midst. That's when He can work powerfully beyond what we can do. May the Lord give us that power and that humility.
