A Warrior and a Princess

In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. (Eph 1:5-6)  

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, (Eph 6:13-17) 

I have a nagging thought in my head. I could not understand why I am not passionate about being a Proverbs 31 wife. I would catch myself thinking this each time my single female friends say that they could see themselves as one, and I would wrestle with it. Somehow, it made me feel that there is something wrong with my feelings, or there is something wrong with them.

One fine day, I gathered up the courage to seek the Lord on this matter. I delayed asking because I was afraid to hear God’s answer - what if He said that I should get married, or not? What if He points me to a person that I don’t like? So I asked, “why am I not passionate about being a Proverbs 31 wife? Why is it that the only thing that stands out for me is the line “the woman who fears that Lord is to be praised”? Why can’t I associate this with my identity? Lord, how do You see me? Who am I? I know I asked You this countless of times, but I need help today.”

I was quite surprised to receive His response to my question - “Thea, how do you see Me?” I smiled. I love it when the Lord asks me questions. So I answered - “You are the LORD of Hosts, the King of Kings, and You are my Good Father.” The Lord asked me a second question - “With how you see Me, what does that make you?” I answered - “I am a warrior and a daughter of the Most High.” It turned out that my question on Proverbs 31 led me to know the answer to a more important question - who am I in reference to my Father?

A warrior and a princess.

I love being called a warrior. I feel like I’m part of a great and awesome mission and adventure, and I am in the front line of the battle, thinking about tactics and strategy to defeat the enemy. I would always imagine angels and a war in the spiritual realm, and I know Who will win. There I am, watching, praying, smiling, thinking that the Lord of Hosts has already won the battle. 

A princess. I’ve always had the princess complex. At a young age, I recall seeing myself higher than everyone else, as if my father is a great and valiant warrior, a mighty king*, and I am his precious daughter who resembles him.  However, in my Heavenly Father’s Kingdom, I am designed to be like Him, which also means that I have to be a servant, too. He is a King Who is not far from His people, a King Who loves, a King Who is interested about His people and interacts with them. To be like Him, I must go lower.

However, being a warrior and a princess at the same time is a tricky and sticky situation. Both roles require different costumes and weapons. The warrior requires the full armor of God, always ready to fight in battle. The princess needs to wear the robe of righteousness and the crown of life, and her weapon is love. I want to do a little play on words, the warrior needs her neshek נשק (weapon), the princess needs her neshika נשיקה (kiss).

Sometimes, I do not choose the right role in certain situations - I use my warrior weapons on people, and I shrink in feminine meekness during the war. So my greatest takeway from my conversation with God was to learn how and when to use my weapons, and to be better in both roles.

* My father is an Arthur and a Cole - both are kings, just like him (his name is Arthur Cole)

P.S. Hearing this from the Lord brought me back to a not-so-distant memory when I attended a Women’s Retreat way back in 2010. I recall the speaker talking about finding a mate, and she spoke about the Warrior-King, as her image of God in her mind, and of her future husband. So to my future husband / man in the Garden, you are my warrior prince, and I am waiting for you.

A warrior and a princess on her knees