On Spiritual Warfare (Day 13)

Ephesians 6:12 - For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Feast preparation.  Relational conflicts.  Different opinions and ways.  Spiritual warfare.

In my 32 years of existence, I have not experienced spiritual warfare as intense as what I am going through at the moment. I feel like I could not rest. I would have little victories, and in a short while, I will start all over again. Ready to be crushed. Or become victorious. Sometimes, I do not know what the new day will bring. Will it bring sorrow or joy or both? Like all of the emotions from Inside Out are happening all at the same time.

I am writing today to encourage myself. What are the advantages of spiritual warfare?

1. It’s the only kind of warfare where I know I am not going to die. My life is eternal, so it’s ok if I get shot many times. I won’t die.
2. It’s the kind of warfare that I know my Commander has already won. The time that I would experience defeat is when I allow myself to be deceived.
3. The main weapon of the enemy is guilt. When guilt strikes, I would start questioning my identity. Then comes the downward spiral. The faster I get out of it, the better. The hope is, it’s possible to conquer it through Messiah.
4. The harder the warfare, the greater chance I will need an upgrade on my weapons of war. I only have to ask and believe that I will receive it.
5. The weapons of war are powerful.  But we need to learn how to wear it, use it and guard it.  This takes some time and process, and oftentimes, wounds of battle.

(313 words)

The Man in the Garden

Genesis 2:18 - Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 

Okay. It’s time to be vulnerable. After several conversations with friends, and with the Lord, I think I need to start praying about a helpmate. I’m 32, and I admit, I have the “I’m getting older” anxieties. Reason why I’m writing this is purely for accountability. Things that I don’t expose to the world tend to disappear, and I would pretend as if I never had them.

Who is this man that I am praying for? This is the list that I would like to keep. I do not want to compromise anymore, which I have been doing for decades.

1. A man who loves the Lord - who is not ashamed of Him, who can speak boldly about what He is doing in his life, a man who trusts in Him.
2. A man who is passionate about his work. Just like me.
3. A man who is positive and flexible. Someone who can find creative ways to put things in right perspective.
4. A man who is forgiving and patient. Because for sure, I’ll screw up.
5. A man who is committed to personal development, always willing to learn and to be changed. Searching his heart before the Lord is one of his best habits.
6. A man who is driven by a vision. He is a planner, and he has ambition.
7. A man who loves the Word of God, so he could teach me and we can learn together.
8. A man who is interested about my life. I’m a listener, just as I am a talker. I feel freedom when I am able to listen just as I could talk. This for me is an indicator of intimacy.
9. A man who is not afraid to confront truth.  He may not have mastered the art of doing it in love at all times, but he would like to get there.

I don’t know if you exist. But for sure, there exists a woman who desires to be this person. That woman is me. I know that when I meet you, I will recognize you. Because I will see our Father in you. And I will see myself in you, too.

This Land is Mine (Day 12)

Deuteronomy 1:8 - See, I have set the land before you. Enter and take possession of the land the LORD swore to give to your fathers Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and their future descendants. 

It's interesting that the world considers Israel as an "occupier". Have they even bothered to define the term "occupier"? An occupier is a group of people who conquer/ed a piece of land and claiming it as their own. Which makes practically every group of people* who conquered Israel an occupier. If we trace history, the very first resident of Jerusalem is Melchizedek (I could be wrong). So should we use him as a judge on who owns the land? If not, then what is the right principle to follow, given that the definition of ownership is quite vague?

Assuming that the definition above is the right definition - it's safe to say that Caucasian people are occupiers of the US, because the Native Americans are Reds. And the majority of the Filipino people are occupiers as well, including myself, as we do not seem to be from the Taong Tabon lineage.

My only point is this - if we judge others with a certain standard, should we not also check ourselves with the same standard we are imposing on them?

* People who occupied the land of Israel since 3300 BC --- Canaanite - Israelite - Babylonian - Persian - Greeks - Romans - Byzantine - Muslim - Crusader - Mameluk - Ottoman - British - Israel

(251 words)

Doing Your Best (Day 11)

Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men

Today, I woke up with an epiphany, How can I forget this? “To do your best like you are working for the Lord, without fear of rejection. If you know your motives are pure, you can press on, and work hard with much endurance.”

I don’t know where this all started. Lack of motivation has been bringing me down for the past few months. I can see it coz I carry myself as if I’m wearing sackcloth everyday. I can see it in the mirror. As if everyday is a day of mourning. Why? I have joy and peace but without power. No motivation.

Today, the Lord reminded me of who I am in the Messiah. I am an adopted daughter of the Most High, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. I am royalty. Not a peasant. That I must act based on who I am and not what I feel. So I am starting with how I dress.

(179 words)

Enjoying The Toil Of Labor (Day 10)

Ecclesiastes 5:19 – Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil--this is a gift of God.

Today was a good day. It was the kind of rest that I needed. It was my social night – not thinking about responsibilities. Just spending time with a good friend.

So what we did was go shopping! It was so much fun, I enjoyed it a lot! I went out with a great friend who is not only a fun travel buddy, but also an awesome fashion stylist! We managed to find my “needs” that I have not responded to for almost a year.

You see, I have decided to live a life of poverty since I came to Israel. What was I thinking? More and more each day, I realized that my decision came from ignorance, lack of trust in the Lord and lack of vision and direction.

I praise the Lord for the lessons that I learned from that decision. Today, I lay down my assumptions and expectations before the Lord. Lord, I ask you to break every deception and lie that is my mind, soul and heart. I am nothing anyway apart from You. So prepare me to lose what I have to lose, and to gain what I need to gain.

(227 words)

Overcommunication (Day 9)

James 3:6 - The tongue also is a fire… 

I like to explain. Sometimes I feel like I owe everyone an explanation.

Lately, I realized that this is not a real need. Why do I need to explain? What do I intend to gain after explaining? Am I really doing good or harm when I do? These are questions that I asked myself, as I feel like I give too much information.

I was taught that overcommunicating is a healthy habit. While I still agree on that matter, I am starting to see that it is not necessary helpful. In fact, it may even do more harm than good.

As always, I want to submit these thoughts to the Lord. Can I learn how to listen more than speaking? Can I learn the perfect timing of communication? Can You show me purpose and direction when I communicate? Can You show me what is in my heart when I cannot fight the urge to overcommunicate?

(164 words)

On Political Correctness (Day 8)

John 9:41 - Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no guilt… 

Political correctness. It’s an unspoken rule that most people in organizations practice. It’s the art of not wanting to offend anyone, and the best attempt to please everyone. 

I met someone who hates it. Quite frankly, I found it very refreshing. He said, if I want change, I need to offend people. That horrified me. I struggled with it for more than a year, and I realized, he’s right. 

It takes great boldness to speak the truth without fear of offense. Elijah wanted to die. Jeremiah was depressive. Moses became angry. Jesus… died because of it.

I live in a country that hardly exercise political correctness. However, many of their people, like the ones I mentioned above, triggered massive change in human history.

This led me to ask the Lord important questions: (1) What is the proper way of confrontation with truth? (2) When I offend people, how do I avoid getting hurt?

(169 words)

A Letter To A Person Who Made A Big Impact In My Life (Day 7)

Ezekiel 44:12 - Because they ministered to them before their idols… 

Hello. I know you don’t read my stuff. It’s been a year since we last saw each other. Honestly, I missed you. No one else laughs at my funny face when I cry. And I always cry when we talk. I missed you for many reasons. (1) Because you empowered me. (2) You made me believe that you understood me. (3) You have always wanted what is best for me. (4) When we talk, you made me feel that you don’t have an agenda. (5) Even though sometimes you give horrible advice, you were the best at listening. I can go on and on, and I would have a long list of why I missed you. But frankly, I missed you because you are still my idol. I wish I know Jesus enough that I would see Him as my Standard, and not you. I am annoyed coz it’s taking a long time to get there. I don’t want to keep wanting to find you in friendships. I just want to get to a point where I want to find Jesus in people. In my heart, I wanted to be like you. But I wish my heart would always say that I want to be like Jesus.  Just Jesus.  I wish my idolatry towards you would end.

(229 words)

Israeli Music (Day 6)

Psalm 95:1 - …let us sing to the Lord… 

I love music. I discovered my love for music since I was 3 or 4.  Unfortunately, my passion for music has been subdued for almost a year.  I knew in my heart that I was longing to watch concerts, or to play instruments again.

Today, I had the privilege of watching a open-air concert in Jerusalem. I was taking a stroll down memory lane. I was watching the entire production doing their thing — from manning the lights, balancing the sound levels, switching equipment from the front act to the main band, to make sure that the bands are fully equipped to perform.

Two things that made me smile tonight: (1) audience participation at its finest — I was impressed that everyone knows the lyrics of the songs; (2) the lyrics of the songs that I understood — it’s not often that I hear songs that worship the Lord in a public and secular setting. Tonight, I heard a lot of songs of praise.*

Sigh, I love living in Israel.

(177 words)
*One of the songs played tonight: There is a God (יש אלוהים).  Lyrics HERE.

Little Surprises (Day 5)

Ecclesiates 3:11 - He has made everything beautiful in its appropriate time 

“Are you ok?” This was my roommate’s greeting this morning when we met at the hallway. I fell asleep last night with the lights on and door opened. I slept through the night for 10 long hours.

“I think the Lord wants me to stop being superwoman.” This is was my response. She graciously proposed that we go out tonight. It would be nice to see the Festival at the Sultan’s Pool.

Despite the busy day, I left work relatively earlier. We met at my favorite shop - the Jerusalem Experience*, and saw our friend Asaf.

We walked to the Old City, and had falafel pita for dinner.** We saw the event, but we didn’t go anyway. On our way home, we saw a new cinema - Yes Planet. It seems like a cool place to hangout! And it’s just a 5-minute walk from home!

Much to our surprise, there was a free concern happening in the cinema. We stopped by to discover that the band played tunes from her generation to the millenial generation! Who would have thought we can go to 2 concerts in 1 week? And pay for the price of 1?

Festival 2015

Concert at the Yes Planet Cinema

We made our plans, but the Lord guided our steps. He definitely knows what time means. I thank God is He a Master of time.

(233 words)

NOTE: Today, I am writing way beyond 150 words. The Lord rebuked me thru Jo (my roommate) that I shouldn’t beat myself up with man-made rules. I still want to do this writing thing, but I also need to exercise grace and mercy to myself.

*Jerusalem Experience is located at Jaffa Street 17, Jerusalem. The store owners are awesome! :)

**Who says you can't have 16 NIS dinner in Jerusalem? Jaffa Gate Falafel is located near the Jaffa Gate. When you reach Jaffa Gate, head straight, at the first alley on your left, you will see the small falafel kiosk.

What is Fasting for You? (Day 4)

Matthew 6:16 - When you fast… 

I want to write this entry in a different way. I'm writing it in a form of questions. I’m trying to get some interaction from whoever is reading this.

I’ve always been fascinated with fasting. Fasting, in the Bible, is always associated with humility and weakness of the human body. It is also associated with the power of the Holy Spirit. And in some verses, about discipline.

Fasting is also special because it transcends faiths. Muslims, Buddhist, Hindus do it, too. For Judeo-Christian faith, fasting is a regular thing.

So, my dear reader, I would like to ask you some questions. What does fasting mean for you? When do you fast?  How often do you fast?  Why do you fast?  What are the benefits that you experienced from fasting?  When you fast, what’s your main goal?  How did fasting change you?

Feel free to comment, or use this for your personal reflection.

(154 words)

A Writer's Block (Day 3)

Proverbs 16:9 - The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.

Today, I struggled with writing an entry. A writer’s block, as we call it. I had a few ideas in my head on what to write about. Should I write a prayer? An interesting memory? Should I take this time to thank my friends? I tried to write but I can’t seem to find the right words. No pun intended. Restlessly walking, I finally asked the Lord THE question: Why can’t I write?

I felt the Lord search my heart at that moment. My motives does not seem to be at the right place. Hence, the message would be unclear and vague. It will lack clarity and purpose. This writing situation seems like an interesting journey. I initially wanted this for the sake of personal development. Today is just the third day. I feel like the Lord has other plans.

(156 words)

How to Turn a Hot Summer Weekend into a Fabulous One (Day 2)

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is an appointed time for everything 

1. Avoid working overtime before Shabbat. Take time to prepare for the appointed day of rest.
2. Laugh. Send silly messages to your friends and family. Out of ideas? Use Dubsmash. 
3. Read. Nothing beats a dose of light reading especially when it’s about the Lord. Better yet, read together with good friends. The Torah portion is perfect for Shabbat evenings.
4. Play music and dance. Celebrate with a friend or two. Snacks may come in handy.
5. SLEEP.
6. Head to a place with proper air conditioning. Watch a movie. Cry. Laugh. Reflect. Appreciate. 
7. Drive to a park and do a braai. Bring meat, vegetables and marshmallows.
8. Watch the stars. They’re amazing.
9. Do something new. Take the bus to the airport, and have coffee with a good friend.
10. Visit a friend nearby. Eat a huge portion of home-cooked meal.
11. Write about your lovely weekend.

(150 words)

150 Words (Day 1)

Genesis 1:1,3 - In the beginning… God said… 

I dreaded writing. I hated expressing myself though words. I was ashamed of my thoughts and feelings. I was afraid of judgment. I believed my ideas should just remain in my head. UNLESS. Unless people will like it. But I could hardly find the right words.

I didn’t do well as a writer in high school. I didn’t do well in the university either. My English was considered basic, not good enough for a regular Atenean.

Here I am, hoping I could get another shot at this. I desire to express myself through words. I want to start small. Baby steps, they say, a maximum of 150 words a day.

My hope is that one day, these will be true for me:

Words are my friend, not my enemy. Words have power to create, not destroy. Words bring life, not death. 

(149 words)
Inspired by Avitama Kumar through Reina Reyes

Appointed Time: Shabbat

Last weekend was a vacation to remember.

Vacation, what does it really mean for me? My last recollection of a real vacation was the first week of July 2014, when I spent my birthday with my family in Davao. Since then, I was so focused on my move to Israel, getting myself acclimated in a new country and a new job, meeting new people, touring friends, and not "overspending" (or should I say, cheapskate-ing?) that I have forgotten what it means to get away from the world AND just be still before the Lord.

So last weekend was that time. As usual, I have a list -- this time, it's my thankful list.

1. I did not feel hurried. I hate being hurried. I feel like anything that is immensely urgent is not from the Lord, because God never hurries me. He takes His time, and He enjoys time, especially with me. It was good because my vacation buddy wanted it the same way as I do -- chill, relaxed, slow-paced. We went on a vacation with nothing planned, except hiring a car and reserving a beautiful cabin at the Mt. Hermon area (Neve Ativ). We didn't have a schedule, and we played by ear. Since there was no agenda and planning, there was no expectation as well. The absence of expectations made it virtually impossible to be disappointed.
2. The life of luxury. I used to enjoy life in luxury. I would reserve the best hotels that I could afford, with the perfect location and a great view, dine at Michelin-star restaurants, find some urban adventures and just enjoy life. 11 months ago, I made an oath to myself to turn away from the life of extravagance, like a vow of poverty of some sort. I succeeded to a certain degree -- until I asked the Lord if I could be spoiled for the month of July while Erin and Guj were here. Somehow, I knew that the Lord was supportive of the idea, which I really appreciated. Each time I would submit my plans to Him regarding my expenses, He gives me confirmation that He is supportive on the matter. In this vacation, I could see very clearly His hand upon the situation -- He changed my heart into a joyful one days before the vacation started, He gave a lot of confirmation in the process, and during the vacation until the very last minute, my heart was just full of Him. On the physical luxury part, the cabin was really fabulous, the staff of the hotel was amazing, the car that we rented was great (which I really enjoyed driving), the places where we ate and went to are just heavenly. That was my life that I thought have died along with my resignation letter. But with the mercy and favor of the Lord, He allowed me to taste that life once again, this time with a new set of eyes and taste buds. I expected the Lord to create a longing in my heart that I would ask Him to restore that life once more -- but I didn't. Instead, I told the Lord, "thank You for that glimpse and the favor. I have not regretted my decision about giving my everything to You. This is the life that I chose, and this is my life with You. You are my Luxury. Not material things."
3. Spending it with a good friend. I learned that I could have and I can be a "for better" friend. I have always labeled myself as a "for worse" friend. It's possible to just laugh about silly things, or be quiet and ignore each other and it's ok, just watch a movie without any intellectual discussion during or after the movie. It's ok not to know everything about each other, it's ok not to talk about your burdens all the time, it's ok to be different from one another, it's ok not to be serious. I missed that. I felt like it's been ages since I had a "for better" friend, or when I was a "for better" friend. I have come to realize that being a "for better" friend allows one to be a separate individual, because in reality, no one can really share our joys. Being a "for worse" friend is a time of unity, that friends share each other sorrow, and be comforted with the same comfort that they have received from the Lord. Friendship comes from balance between the two -- "for better" and "for worse". And I hope I understand this lesson very well, because I would like to have the next one -- "till death do us part". I would like to have real friendships that last longer than a season -- who can both be "for better" and "for worse" at the same time.
4. Lots of time to pray. It was so interesting that the Parshat Torah for the weekend was Deut 3-7. How timely it was that the places that we went to were mentioned in the chapters, i.e. Hermon, Golan, Gilead, the land across Jordan, the Kinnereth, etc. It was like the Lord knew the timing, and He intended for us to read the Parsha in that specific location. But the Lord did not stop there. He put a beautiful verse in my heart last Sunday morning when I woke up -- about Elijah finding God in the still small voice. Prior to that, the Lord showed us several rainbows, a few good clouds in the sky, and at some point, when I was alone eating my chocolates, there was a strong breeze while I was having my prayer time. But my heart was not moved. Only when I woke up with that still small voice early in the morning that tears fell from my eyes after reading the rest of the chapter: 1 Ki 19:13 - the Lord asked Elijah an important question: "Why are you here, Elijah?"  That was a critical question that hit home for me. The Lord started to search my heart, my anxious thoughts, and I knew where He was leading to. I read further and got to verse 15 -- the road through the wilderness of Damascus. I giggled a little bit reading it, as I was close to the border between Syria and Israel. So I decided to take a walk along the mountains of Hermon. I poured out my heart to the Lord, at the same time, hearing from His heart about the Middle East situation. It was a good time to cry and pray and listen to the Lord. After that, I knew my time there was worth it. It was ordained that I must be at that place and that time. 

So now I learned an important lesson -- in EVERYTHING, trust in the Lord. Cease striving. Just walk with Him. And I am happy that everyday is another day to learn more about His heart, about His plans, and I can speak to Him and hear Him with greater precision. Though I may stumble and fall, He will pick me up and get me back on track.

P.S. I am starting to plan my 2016 vacation.  Yay!  I love vacations!